What CAN be done?--Part 2

On the famous comedy TV series from the nineties, "Seinfeld", an episode called "The Outing" mocks the idea of being homophobic. The characters George and Jerry see someone eavesdropping on their conversation, and for fun, decide to make up a story that they are gay. To their displeasure, the person who overhears them happens to be a reporter, and publishes a story based on their supposed homosexual relationship. Throughout the episode, the characters show their dislike for being mistakenly thought of as gay, but quickly follow with "not that there's anything wrong with that". This particular line of dialogue is used several times to emphasize that even for people who support gay rights, being labelled as gay still carries a stigma for many men. (To watch the main plot of the episode, and these scenes, click here).

After Joakim Noah's gay slur during the NBA playoff game, I wrote a blog on the inappropriate, yet somewhat common use of gay slurs. Guys make gay slurs to each other all the time, not intending to offend gays, but more as a way to tease or insult the other person. However, it is considered by many as offensive, as it should be, because it assumes that by using it as a put-down, it assumes what underlies the word is derogatory. 

As I reflect on that post, I think that it is crucial to understand that people who use gay slurs often say it as a gut reaction, almost subconsciously. Gay slurs are common for boys and men during friendly interactions, and even on the progressive North Shore we hear them often. Although speaking these words can be offensive, many people don't see a problem with using gay slurs if they are used in a joking way between friends. I think this is similar to what "Seinfeld" mocked, in that guys use gay slurs even when they truly believe "not that there's anything wrong with that". I wonder how others feel about using gay slurs, and if it matters at all if it said between friends, or said in the heat of  the moment.